Monday, September 12, 2016

Fantasy Football Monday "Everything I know about fantasy football I learned from the Browns"

I don't play fantasy football any more.  But when I did, I played like a Brown.

HOW TO PLAY LIKE A BROWN - PART ONE:

Draft Poorly:

In my last season I blew my first draft pick.  Maybe not as bad as the Browns did with Johnny Manziel, or Trent Richardson, or Phil Taylor, or Airmail Erving, or Justin Gilbert, or Brandon Weeden, or...

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  My draft.

I picked second.  This was the year that the obvious choice was Adrian Peterson.  Picking second there were a variety of good options.  The best was the Beast - Marshawn Lynch.  For some still inexplicable reason, I took LeSean McCoy. 

(Side note - Peterson only played one game, then got suspended.  But at least the guy who picked first had an excuse.)

Later, I somehow decided that the Eagles offense was the way to go, so I added Nick Foles at quarterback. 

I did make a good pick eventually, wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald.  We'll cover more about him in part two.


HOW TO PLAY LIKE A BROWN - PART TWO:

Trade Away Talent:

I traded Fitzgerald, got about nothing.  But I figured I'd be okay, because I had a receiver who was ready to come back and kick butt.


HOW TO PLAY LIKE A BROWN - PART THREE:

Overestimate your own talent:

My receiver was in fact, a Brown.  Josh Gordon.  When he came back he was awful.  He didn't light up defenses.  He did, however, light up something else, and got suspended yet again.


SO WHAT HAVE I LEARNED?

That was already covered in a prior blog post.  Stick with the survivor pool, and pick Browns' opponents.


HOW DID THAT WORK OUT?

Swimmingly.  I took the Eagles this week, and they looked like Super Bowl champions.  People will probably pick them later, and will be disappointed when they find out that a good part of the Eagles' dominance was things like:

1. The Browns calling a fake punt on their own 40.  With no punter on the field.  And only 10 men on the field.  Apparently they were banking on the element of surprise.  Surprise!  You lost 6 yards!

2. The aforementioned Cameron Erving snapping a shotgun snap over RG III's head and out of the back of the endzone.  That tends to make your defense look good.

3. Several dropped passes by the Browns.

All of that having been said, Carson Wentz, the man who could have been a Brown, played really well.  This is a triple disappointment because a) we could have had him, b) our talent evaluators said "he's not top 20", which means we STILL don't know how to evaluate talent, and c) I was hoping the Eagles would go about 3-13 this year (for a better Browns choice).  That's off the table.

SURVIVAL POOL - COMING UP:  Baltimore comes to Cleveland.  My original plan was to wait until the Browns played in Baltimore to take the Ravens, but I don't think I can wait that long.  The league might be over by then.  I'll take the Ravens.

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